My Car's On FIRE!!!!

So, Saturday morning, I leave for work. I get there and pull into a parking space, and my car is making a weird noise. I go to turn it off, you know, turn the key and pull it out, and oh god, it's still running!! And sputtering and jerking and making all kinds of noise. So I put the key back in and turn it on. It fires right up. Again I try to turn it off, IT WON'T TURN OFF. HELP, Daddy!! I call my dad. He tells me to put it in gear, put my foot on the break and slowly let out the clutch, as if to stall it out. Well, the car is jerking foward trying to jump out of the parking space, and groaning and making all sorts of ungodly noises, and slowly goes through death throes, and dies. O.K. Now there's smoke pouring out of the hood!!! What do I do? What do I do? "Get out of the car!", says dad, so I get out and run into work and say," Do we have a fire extinguisher? My car's on fire!" Then, someone from outside comes running in shoutting," There's a car on fire out in the parking lot!! Someone call the fire department!! We need to move those other cars, it's going to blow up!!" Let's create major panic, shall we? By now everyone in the store is looking, we've called 911, the fire truck is on the way, there's about twenty people outside watching, and at the center of it all is little ol' me and my Subuaru, burning. Where is the nearest hole to crawl into? The fire put itself out, the police and a small fire vehicle, and my dad show up. Apparently the starter malfunctioned and was stuck on. When I tried to stall out the car it created a short that caused an electrical fire, hence the massive smoke and burnt rubber smell. But the good news is that it is just the starter and that is a fairly easy and inexpensive fix. "Can I go home now?" I asked, after it was all over. What a way to start the day. And a Saturday. And a truck day. I get the feeling there were a few people who were a little dissapointed that the car didn't blow up. Jeff jr. said he was surprised at how calm I was. He said if it was his car, he would have been freaking out!! I was freaked out, I just have a funny was of not showing it. But I was really shaking by the time it was over. Time enough for a smoke, and some deep breaths....and back to work!!